ASK ME: TANYA'S QUESTION: Should I say sorry?

STORY: We are in a relation from 8 months . We fought many times but this time, it was very aggressive. From last three days he was ignoring me (I think so) and today, I blocked him as I was really upset, I asked him, “If you don’t want to talk why don’t u block me?” He replied with just a simple, “I will not”.

Then he called me and just asked for a book, he said ok and left the conversation. We had a bad fight in the morning and in that fight, I told him, “Talking to you is just a waste, nowadays”.

ANSWER

Dear Tanya,

You haven’t mentioned the cause of the fight, hence, I don’t really know what advice should I give you.

But, I can help you out in finding the answer by yourself.

Tanya, first please be sure whether he really likes you or not. Most times, when fights becomes casual in relationship, the reason behind them is “they got bored”.

I know it feels harsh but that’s the reality.

In case you are sure that he loves you, do say sorry. Saying sorry isn’t a big thing if it can help in saving your relationship.

Anger is a cancer to love, and that anger causes ego clashes. No, that does not mean you are egoistic and it also have nothing to do with how good you are. It’s a basic human reflex to anger. When we are angry, ego does come in uninvited, and it will make you think it’s his fault even if it isn’t.

What you should do in the matter is, do say sorry and explain why you were angry and why you think it’s okay to say sorry. Try saying this, “I really am sorry, I know I shouldn’t have said all that but my ego wasn’t letting me do that. But I really love you, so I put the ego aside and understood your concern. I really am sorry. Somewhere both of us were wrong, let’s make this work better, together.”

Breaking it into parts, “I really am sorry” will put his into a little comfort. “Ego” may make him ask question but trust me answering why this ego came (use what I explained above) will make him feel that you really are sorry. “Let’s make this work better, together” will make him feel responsible towards relationship.

P.S. Don’t forget to stay calm. His anger and questions might make you angry. In that situation, stay calm, and in your mind count till 10. And do that before answering even if you find it stupid.

About he should be sorry too, don’t ask him to be sorry on the same day. As this will make him feel it’s only his fault, again ego is the reason.

Be as calm and tender as you can. And trust me, holding hands and personal meetups are best for doing such a task.