Why we should live inside the boundaries.

WHAT DO YOU LIVE IN? BOUNDARIES OR STEREOTYPES?

Somewhere, somehow, we all have had ran away from one thing or another. Yes, living free, out of limits, breaking rules seems fun, but no, it’s not cool. Breaking stereotypes is mostly called as “breaking boundaries” no, they aren’t synonyms. How? Boundaries are those what we create for ourselves, to protect us, whereas stereotypes are those which are rigid, are created by the society, according to what the society think is right or wrong.

Take an example of some homosexual man, according to stereotype a man shouldn’t date a man even if he loves him, he should rather marry a women he won’t ever love. But the boundaries that person made for himself, he shouldn’t use someone, and should just be with the one he loves. What do you think he should do? Choose what he wants, and what he wants, is to go with the boundaries he has created for himself.

I know there are a thousand successful people who tells you to break the rule and live free, listen to them. No, seriously listen to them, but mind what they say, they teach you to break boundaries people made for you, not the ones you make for yourselves.

The word boundaries, as a matter of fact, using as a synonym of rigid stereotypes is wrong. What we create to save our house from the direct road, is a boundary. In the same way, what we create to save ourselves from the roughness and harshness of people, is a boundary too. And by roughness and harshness I mean the pain they can give us, by knowing us, which is a result of ‘us’ exposing our fullest to them.

Creating boundaries can be a difficult task, especially when they are something we can’t really do.

Don’t try to get everything right. Start from the very bottom, first accept what you’ve done wrong with yourself and others, to whom you mattered, then find out what you should do, to not to repeat the same mistake again, then follow those things, put them as your boundaries. And don’t worry it’s not a diet, so it’ll show huge difference from the very first week.

What I’ll suggest you to do is, make achievable boundaries, don’t overdo. Do work on some things but only till an extent, don’t make things so rigid that you create your own stereotype.

Giving my example, telling myself ‘I am a human I can cry in front of others’ don’t really work. I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable and be emotionally naked in front of others, but I do cry, what I do is, I take leave from people with a happy fun note, then I go to my room and I cry. Yes, that sounds retarded and depressed but no, it’s not. Crying is a necessary thing, we need to get our emotions out, to be perfectly healthy, both mentally and physically. And yes, I do tell one of my friend about my problems, so I can emotionally back up on someone when I’m not listening to myself. I’m not perfect either.

So, by my example what I’m trying to tell you is, avoid certain feelings but don’t boycott them.

If you create a boundary, that you will not be sad in front of everyone, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be sad ever, intentionally of course. If you are feeling sad, do take time, take leave, go to some secret place of yours, or sit somewhere and look at the sky, ask yourself why you are sad, and be positive and answer yourself on your own. The advice you can give yourself is something that no one else can give you, you just have to trust yourself. But make sure the advice is positive, and for that choose a positive environment.

Do this, if you don’t have your secret space, go someplace quiet, from where you can look up at the sky, Now look at the sky, try to look at the different colors, think about them, think about the environment and all the things that looks beautiful. Now, once you are at peace, ask yourself why were you sad? Ask yourself all those questions and trust me, the answers will be positive and you’ll be relaxed and at peace.

Why sky? Actually, you can choose whatever you feel peaceful, most people find sky soothing, so I suggested the sky, as there’s a lot to notice in the depth of it’s beauty. But you can choose whatever you can concentrate on and whatever feels soothing and beautiful to look at. And for the crazy heads, no, cutting your flesh and looking at the blood running is not what I mean, if that feels soothing, please read this.

So, this is it. Tell me your experiences, on the blog’s social media pages or on the form. And please contact me, if you are having any such troubles, regarding to what boundaries you should set for yourself, just go to the facebook page (link is given on the right side at the first widget) and message me there. I am great with quick responses. J

Till then spread smiles.