Things you should consider before confessing your love to your best friend.

After I was asked "why is it that my best friend doesn't love me back?" the question kept dancing in my head (it wasn't my fault if you saw me dancing).

So, I started thinking about it, I thought, thought and thought some more when I realized it actually isn't a good idea. And well I know this doesn't sound good but well it's the reality, I'll tell you why.

When you're in love with your best friend and they love you back, you kinda lose your best friend. Now the person you do have is your boyfriend/ girlfriend. And trust me on this, a best friend is far more needed than a partner.

Your best friend knows everything about you, and by that I mean just everything, from what triggers your anger to what calms you down, from what hurts you the most to what you love the most. They are the ones on whose shoulder you cried when your ex ditched you, they are the one you stayed up all night when they couldn't sleep, they are the one you once loved without conditions.

But love brings conditions, once you're in love with them you can't tell them about some person that you find attractive 'cause of the obvious reason that they'll feel jealous or worst insecure.

This person who is now your love knows your deepest darkest secrets, knows when and how you cheated someone from your past and the fact is they'll never forget it and will always be afraid that you may do the same with them.

Regardless of all those beautiful carefree moments you've spent with them there always will be a tiny part of you which will be afraid, afraid of losing them.

There's no doubt that friendship breakups are fatal than love breakups, because they break the trust and loyalty part of your heart. How do I know about this? Well I've been there and it sucks! Sucks so bad that after my best friend left me I had a hard time believing in the concept of love and friendship.

But well where there is a will there's a way. So, if you guys really want to make this work I will help you.

It’s 100% correct that a good love relationship with your best friend is the best love relationship you can ever have. But, yes ‘but’ because all good things comes with an exception, so the ‘but’ is that, "there's a possibility this won't really work".

Well it does usually work but the point is "situations matter". Sometimes things works, sometimes they don't, but I'm sure these things will, if you both work on them together.

Talk and clarify it: You both know each other very well, so I'll suggest you both clarify everything. Everything means everything from 'what means what' to 'what should not be misunderstood' because it's important, you guys aren't friends anymore, you can't just say anything to this person and think that it won't matter because it does, they might not tell you but deep down in their heart that thing you said will always stung.

No ego clashes:  Ego clashes are usually normal in friends, "best friends" to be exact, but it's a big no-no in relationships. Now I know you might be thinking "Ego clashes? No we never had them" but trust me you had. Go back to your memory lane and you'll remember those fights you guys had because you guys made your egos wrestle with each other.

But if you want to save your relationship don't put your ego in between. It was different when you both were best friends things were casual back then 'cause you were used to fighting and forgetting as if such things never happened, but when you both are a couple things are sensitive, a “just for fun” insult joke can turn into a massive fight. So don't do that.

Understand each other: Best friends have a whole different level of understanding each other but couples don't, they usually have hard time understanding each other completely.

Things that used to sound fun to you now will take your mind to a whole new direction and you have to keep it on track. You have to understand the fact that you can't just click and change both of yours attitude towards each other. Sometimes your partner may say something that was normal before the couple tag, but now it's hurtful, you have to understand that you need to give time to the other person to adapt the change.

Don’t keep recalling your ex: They were your shoulder when you cried thinking about your past, so don't make them regret doing it, now. Stop thinking about your ex for God's sake if you really are in love with this person, yes they know sometimes you gets weak and think about your past but that doesn't mean you'll ignore their efforts to be there for you hiding their jealousy just to make sure that you are alright. So stop it value them 'cause stupid person they loves you. 

And yes by that I don't mean to say that you should just never talk about your ex even when you are at the brink level. Do talk to them about it, they'll feel happy you're sharing your problems with them and that you are comfortable enough to talk to them about it but don't neglect their efforts, after you are done with the topic, tell them how much you appreciate their efforts and how happy you are to have them. Trust me that'll change everything.

Trust each other: This is one of the most common problem that best friends turned couples face. When our partner was just our best friend, them talking to other people (opposite sex) doesn't really bother us because we already know they can't take our place we are each other's plus one. Before this relationship you used to tease your best friend about this girl he used to like but now suddenly, even the mention of her name will give you a tiny heart attack, you'll be jealous, impatient and might have sleepless nights wandering what your love had talked about, to the girl he once used to like.

So you need to trust them because believe me no one can take your place, and if you trust them completely no, nobody can take them from you. Just remember to remind this to them once in a while.

Brag about how happy you guys are: Yes brag about it, 'cause you deserve it. Not everyone can manage to be in love with their best friend and be successful in it, but you guys did so kudos to you two. Plus a little bragging about how cool your partner is, can never do harm but will just do wonders.

Work on it: Remember one thing, don't you dare give up. It's not a video game that you're playing, you can't just restart everything whenever you want, this is real life. Once you've withdrawn you can't get it back its gone forever, and mind it, not just the relationship but the friendship too. 

Remember that Sant Kabir's doha, where he said that 'A thread once broken can't ever be the same again, as the knot is gonna be their anyway'? Yes that quote implies here. So please don't quit. 

Well, I hope you guys understand what I mean to say. And believe me not everyone is lucky enough have their best friends being in love them too, so if you are give it a try. But only, when you both are ready else you'll just spoil your friendship like I did. But yes there's no denying the fact that if you succeed you're gonna end up super happy. 

P.S. Any personal suggestions, questions or topic request ? Ask them here. 'Till then love yourself and love me too, I'll be back on Saturday with another post.
One more thing stay connected by following us on facebook. You can contact me any time you want.

Keep spreading smiles and I'll be back soon.