STORY: So me and my girlfriend have been together for like 8 months now. Her
family and my family are pretty well known to each other as my mum and her mum
have been good friends for a long time. When we got with each other,we tried to
keep it secret form everyone especially our families.They thought we were
friends while we were in love.
But after 6 months her mum got to know about us and thing spread like fire from my family to her family members(dad,brother etc.).Since she is very open with her mother she told her that she proposed me(which she did).My mother started thinking that I was some kind of hero and her daughter was mad for me and all kinds of shit things.Now,Sometimes My mother passively insults her mother and i really hate it but i just can't do anything about it.Yesterday she and her mum came to my home to meet my mum(you know, casual meetups that ladies do) While they were at home my mum just said something,that after that when my girlfriend reached home she said her mum was crying because of what my mum said.Although when I asked her what my mum said, I realized that wasn't something bad it's just that her mother took it in the wrong way,now her mother says she won't come to our home anymore, My girlfriend was crying about this too when we discussed about this.Should I Talk To Mum about this? Should I tell her to calm her mother down as it wasn't that big of a deal or completely ignore this event and focus on my girlfriend than what my mum or her mum talk about?.
But after 6 months her mum got to know about us and thing spread like fire from my family to her family members(dad,brother etc.).Since she is very open with her mother she told her that she proposed me(which she did).My mother started thinking that I was some kind of hero and her daughter was mad for me and all kinds of shit things.Now,Sometimes My mother passively insults her mother and i really hate it but i just can't do anything about it.Yesterday she and her mum came to my home to meet my mum(you know, casual meetups that ladies do) While they were at home my mum just said something,that after that when my girlfriend reached home she said her mum was crying because of what my mum said.Although when I asked her what my mum said, I realized that wasn't something bad it's just that her mother took it in the wrong way,now her mother says she won't come to our home anymore, My girlfriend was crying about this too when we discussed about this.Should I Talk To Mum about this? Should I tell her to calm her mother down as it wasn't that big of a deal or completely ignore this event and focus on my girlfriend than what my mum or her mum talk about?.
ANSWER:
Indian geek,
If you love her you have to love her family too.
What your mother did wasn't right either, women when are friends, usually cracks such insulting jokes. If your girlfriend's mother was crying then she was obviously hurt, and as a friend, your mother should understand the problem and her own fault.
So, talk to your mother about this is the right thing to do.
If for now you'll concentrate on just the relationship and not this family stuff, her mom may or may not forget this incident, which means tension for the future. So, just go to your mom and tell her that according to you, what she did was wrong and what she says can be interpreted in other way too. Don't mention the fact that her mother was angry and said she won't come to your home, as that will build the ego (which is totally normal).
Try to stay calm as you guide her through what she did wrong and also don't mention the fact that your girlfriend told you everything, while you both were "Discussing over it".
Indian mother's usually have the problem of being insecure about their kids. She'll think your girlfriend is stuffing your brain against her.
Choose WORDS WISELY & most importantly use "Imagine she said that to you and this could be interpreted as this too".
Words if chosen correctly, can change the whole meaning of sentence. So think first speak later.
P.S. For more questions you know how to reach me.
ASK ME FORM: https://goo.gl/forms/jMGcJ5DiLvaW8w7T2
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/Love.Relationship.Life
Indian geek,
If you love her you have to love her family too.
What your mother did wasn't right either, women when are friends, usually cracks such insulting jokes. If your girlfriend's mother was crying then she was obviously hurt, and as a friend, your mother should understand the problem and her own fault.
So, talk to your mother about this is the right thing to do.
If for now you'll concentrate on just the relationship and not this family stuff, her mom may or may not forget this incident, which means tension for the future. So, just go to your mom and tell her that according to you, what she did was wrong and what she says can be interpreted in other way too. Don't mention the fact that her mother was angry and said she won't come to your home, as that will build the ego (which is totally normal).
Try to stay calm as you guide her through what she did wrong and also don't mention the fact that your girlfriend told you everything, while you both were "Discussing over it".
Indian mother's usually have the problem of being insecure about their kids. She'll think your girlfriend is stuffing your brain against her.
Choose WORDS WISELY & most importantly use "Imagine she said that to you and this could be interpreted as this too".
Words if chosen correctly, can change the whole meaning of sentence. So think first speak later.
P.S. For more questions you know how to reach me.
ASK ME FORM: https://goo.gl/forms/jMGcJ5DiLvaW8w7T2
FACEBOOK: facebook.com/Love.Relationship.Life
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